“Keeping up with the Jones’ is F*cking You up”
There is no faster way to getting yourself stuck in a spiral of mental health issues and emptiness than falling into the trap of “keeping up with the Jones’. We live in a world where more is deemed better…more “bullshit” to be clear. More toys. More hours. More money. More followers. We have an over abundance of “stuff”, stuff we don’t need, and stuff we don’t actually really want either.
In the moment of purchasing our impulse takes over and we buy things that give us an immediate dopamine release, making us feel excited and happy. But this narrative ends shortly thereafter with unhappiness and emptiness. Why? Because we tried replacing self-love and care with external validation through purchasing something that doesn’t address the deeper issue.
Instead of focusing on what other people have…
we should be switching our perspective, focusing internally and asking ourselves “am I involving myself with activities daily that make me happy?” When we break down Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, we have it pretty good. Where most people f*ck up, is by comparing their situation with the situation of others. They determine their happiness based on the perceived happiness of others around them, which is an unwinnable game. We pursue things, rather than happiness.
We simply focus on other people too often: “My friends and neighbors have a newer car, a bigger house, a larger TV, expensive watches, and all I have is (fill in the blank)”, discrediting what’s actually important.
What someone else has or doesn’t have shouldn’t dictate your happiness in the slightest. We shouldn’t have to look around and dictate how happy we are based on other’s apparent success level or how other’s view us. Unfortunately this is what most people subconsciously do.
Imagine taking all that time that we spent focusing on other people, and we applied it to make our lives more full of love, quality time spent with friends and family, purpose, movement, and learning. We’d be incredibly fulfilled.
All the time we spend focusing on others not only takes time, energy and attention away from doing things that give us true meaning to our lives in that moment, but spirals into lost hours, days and months after all is said and done.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting more…if that “more” is making your life richer and giving you more freedom to actually do the things you want to do, with the least amount of stress as possible. But if this “more” is based around filling a void, you’re screwed either way.
It comes down to authentically knowing oneself. Some people are extremely self-motivated and want a bigger piece of land so they can have space to move around, grow their own garden, have their own gym, and there is nothing wrong with that, if this truly makes your life intrinsically richer. The key is to do you and be true to that person.
In most cases, more love, laughter, growth and purpose will make us feel whole, so focus on adding more of this to your life. And when someone you know get’s something bigger and better, be happy for them, but most importantly, be happy for yourself, knowing that your focusing on yourself and pursuing things that will truly aid in a long and happy life. This takes patience and constant reminding, but eventually you can get there, and when you do, you will be free to enjoy all that life offers you.