Day 317/323 / 365 Days of Fulfillment Blog
Day 323/365 – November 20
“Schedule Reminder’s in Your Phone the Night Before”
If you are anything like me, remembering what errands and tasks you have to do is a whole other errand in itself. Thankfully, today more than ever, we have the easiest tools available to remind ourselves to get something done, and this sort of ‘set it and forget it’ structure can very well be the most useful stress reliever in your life. The key is to structure your to do list around your openings and other convenient times within your schedule.
I did this the other night. I looked at tomorrows schedule, thought about when i’d have free time and when i’d have access to my phone, and set reminders for those time slots. This allowed me to make efficient use of my down time as well as knock important ‘to do’s off my list.
Another crucial component to these phone calendar reminders is to do the thing you are reminded to do in that very moment. This is a drop everything and do it situation. If not, the reminder is relatively unnecessary. As an added bonus to this tip I found that even writing the reminders into my calendar the night before elicited a greater memory for what needed to get done the next day.
Our goal should be to delegate as much unnecessary attention, time and energy to other tools available around us, that way we can focus on what needs to get done, and get these things done when we first attended them to. This is true bliss.
Day 322/365 – November 19
“When the Body feels Weak, take a Day to Truly Rest, Recover and Come Back Stronger”
I’m not an advocate of taking many days off, but at the same token, resting the body for the greater good of the long term can be just the thing you need to perform at your best. This tip comes with high level transparency and honesty with oneself, knowing that the day off is truly needed and beneficial, hence why it’s only necessary when the body is in a truly weakened state. Every few months the body and mind just need to escape and strengthen itself with rest. We can accomplish this effectively by getting an extra few hours of sleep, snuggling up on a couch and stepping away from any sort of stress inducing activities, including the gym (I know! I can’t believe I just said skip the gym).
Now, this day should be few and far between, quarterly, if that, and be used with the intention to come back more motivated, more rejuvenated and more energized. Some great tips for a day like this would be to drink comfort beverages that can aid in strengthening the system: lemon and hot water, detox teas and lots of water are great options; foods should be cleansing as well, nothing greasy, fried and saturated, just organic natural nutrient dense foods. And activities should be passive, tranquil and calming; activities like doing a puzzle, reading a book and watching a favourite movie are ideal. This day is all about you coming back a stronger version of yourself, not a lazier version. Use it to your advantage and let this 24 hour period of healing and recovery work its magic.
Day 321/365 – November 18
“Structure Relaxation Blocks throughout the Day”
Relaxation and re-energizing are two crucial components in creating a productive, relatively less stressful day. The goal here is to get a lot done in one day, but not at the expense of our mental health, mental clarity and happiness.
Relaxation blocks allow us to rejuvenate and optimize our schedule, without running into “burn out” mode. For those of us who tell ourselves the narrative that, “I don’t have time to relax”, you are the one’s who need this most. There is always time to decompress and clear your mind from the craziness that may be presented to you that day. Constantly going and ignoring your exhaustion or irritation is an ineffective method especially when comparing efficiency to hours spent working.
Taking 5-10 minutes every few hours to recalculate the situation at hand, by letting our mind disconnect, is a way for us to respond most effectively when we return to the “madness”. This 10-20 minute ‘unplug’ in the grand scheme of a long day will boost your productivity and more importantly, keep your sanity. Research has even shown the effectiveness for high level lawyers, who thought going away for a week would lose them money and clients, where statistics showed the opposite; their time away from the office enhanced their ability to perform once they got back from vacation, as they felt recharged, less stressed and more whole. Never underestimate the power of clearing ones mind. We all need it, yet rarely see the forest for the tress.
Day 320/365 – November 17
“Take a Sunday Stroll down by Niagara-on-the-Lake”
Sunday hangouts in a peaceful, quaint, beautiful area are tough to match from a relaxation and rejuvenation stand point. Areas like Niagara on the Lake are designed to put your mind at ease and have you enjoy the calmness of smiling faces, cute shops and a great atmosphere. Niagara on the Lake is known for its stunning Winery’s and its flower-filled, tree-lined old town features which consist of a plethora of 19th-century buildings.
But why Sundays? Sundays in particular have a carefree vibe associated with the day. People are in less of a hurry, errands are not at the forefront of your thinking – most likely just got done the day before – and being present seems far easier than any other day of the week. This combination of reduced stress makes for quality time spent with a friend or loved one in a wonderfully designed small town. It’s important to never take this presentness and ability to connect on a more personal level for granted; these moments can aid a great deal in recharging you for a productive week a head, while strengthening important aspects to living a more rewarding life, such as a greater sense of meaning, connection and true engagement.
Day 319/365 – November 16
“Tell People about Your Goals for Extra Passive Accountability”
It feels good to improve on the person we are, but unfortunately it’s not always that easy to stick to specific goals and be accountable to ourselves. This is why I am a strong advocate of telling people what you are currently in the pursuit of. Social accountability is a real thing. It’s why we behave more appropriately when authority is around, we feel accountable to someone else. Social accountability can also work wonders for personal goals, where others can passively keep you accountable, simply by being present.
If you plan to cut out a bad habit, like smoking or eating fast food, tell people at work; tell your network; and tell your friends and family what you are trying to do. It is psychologically proven that we have a harder time letting other people down, and looking foolish to others, compared to letting ourselves down. We are great at making excuses and hiding from reality when there are no eyes on us; that’s why trainers, coaches and paid classes can be so effective. The accountability to your trainer and the respect of their time and effort is more likely to get you to show up on a day you don’t feel like working out, compared to just letting yourself down. It goes back to the basic psychology of not wanting to look ‘bad’ to others. There was even some insightful research in weight loss effectiveness when we used social support, like Twitter, as an accountability tool. The key however is to do it for you, and use these platforms or external forces as resources, not as your true motivators.
Letting someone else down, and losing their trust and respect in the process is a crappy feeling. On the other hand, it’s a great feeling to show people around you how committed you are and in doing so, share in their support. As an extra bonus to this external accountability, there is also a strong likelihood that those around you will be motivated by your consistency and goal driven action, that they themselves will start making positive changes in their lives.
Day 318/365 – November 15
You will never get the answer you want, without asking the question. With that being said, simply having the courage to ask will create more success and positive outcomes in your life than you would have ever expected. Most people just assume the worst. We think in terms of rejection, and worst case scenario. When we think in this manner, we talk ourselves of even trying 75% of the time, which is unfortunate, as a surprising amount of time, the answer you are looking for, won’t be far off, if not, exactly what you want.
The other night a restaurant brought the girl I’m seeing the wrong bun with her hamburger (vegan bun, she wanted Gluten free), which we clarified quite clearly. As a joke, I said, “this means we get her meal free right?” A few awkward laughs were exchanged between us and the server, before she left, with no clarification one way or the other. I didn’t actually really care about a free meal perse, but I thought, why not at least ask – even if it was in a somewhat joking manner. When it came time to pay, her meal was free of charge on the bill. This simple little accidental “ask”, opened my eyes once again to the simple point of asking. The worst case is they say no, which most people don’t like saying. In reality, there’s a high probability a compromise will be met, and there’s a good chance you will actually get exactly what you want.
I did the same thing when I worked in Direct Marketing, regardless of how confident I was that a potential customer would or wouldn’t buy, I would always finish off my pitch with, “Would you like to pay cash, credit or debit?” This simple assumptive ask worked so many times, that I eventually went on to run my own Direct Marketing Company… I ‘asked’ more times than anybody else was willing to.
Instead of being fearful of the possible response, let’s start thinking best case scenario. Ask with confidence, and I promise you, you will get way more “yes’ ” than you think. Nobody waiting for the girl to ask them out ever got the girl, just remember that 😉
Day 317/365 – November 14
“Stop Relying on People for Your Success”
One common mistake I see a lot of people make when they are trying to create or achieve something of importance to them, is relying too heavily on other people. It’s important to have trusting relationships, and have a network that can help you grow and progress forward, but relying on other’s to dictate whether or not you complete your task is injudicious. You always have to be ready to lose your current mode of support, yet still have a the fortitude to keep on going.
Let’s use a gym partner as an example. You never want to solely rely on a gym partner to get you out the door and into the gym. This lack of control is putting your fate in someone else’s unpredictable hands, which is typically full of their own external responsibilities that over ride your needs, unfortunately.
If you really NEED some help, hire someone. This is the one way around reliance on others that can keep your “partner” or contractor focused on your needs above all else. Here’s another, more self fulfilling way to be less reliance on others, Build a skill set; build a stronger mind; and building more resources. This is always a great approach to see your designs come to fruition.
Just remember, no one ever cares as much about your goals as you do, so you cannot expect anyone else to give more than 70% of their attention to your needs, regardless of how benevolent they seem/are. Remind yourself that you need to be the leader of your destiny, and that you have to be willing to go it alone for a while and not lose that same sense of ambition. If you don’t develop this strong sense of grit, and continue on your path of reliance of, you will inevitably fall short of your desires.
Someone who understands this concept deals with loss of support with poise and grace, and eloquently reconstructs their path and network; they don’t break down and stop moving, they simply SLOW DOWN and keep moving. With this consistent attitude, doors open far more frequently and opportunities are more visible. Life typically works in this manner.